A time comes in your life when you
finally get it. When in the midst of all
your fears and insanity, you stop dead in
your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out- Enough!
Enough, already! Enough fighting and
crying, or struggling to hold on. And,
like a child quitting down after a blind
tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you
shudder once or twice, you blink back
your tears and through a mantle of wet
lashes, you begin to look at the world
through new eyes. This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop
hoping and waiting for something to
change, or for happiness, safety and
security to come galloping over the next
horizon. You come to terms with the fact
that he or she is not Prince Charming and
you are not Cinderella and that in the
real world there are not always fairy
tale endings (or beginnings for that
matter). In addition, you realize that
any guarantee of " happily ever after "
must begin with YOU, and in the process a
sense of serenity is born, a sense of of
acceptance is reached. You awaken to the
fact that you are not perfect, and that
not everyone will always love, appreciate
or approve of who you are or what you
are, and it is OK nevertheless. After
all, everyone is entitled to their own
views and opinions. In addition, you
learn the importance of loving and
championing yourself, and in the process,
a sense of newly found confidence is born
of self-approval.
You stop procrastinating and blaming
other people for the things they did to
you (or didn't do for you) and you learn
that the only thing you can really count
on is the unexpected. You learn that not
everyone will always be there for you,
and it is not always about you.
Therefore, you learn to stand on your own
and to take care of yourself and in the
process a newfound sense of safety and
security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and
you begin to accept people as they are,
and to overlook their shortcomings and
human frailties... and in the process a
sense of peace and contentment are born
of self-forgiveness.
Your shoulders drop, your neck relaxes,
and you smile.
You realize that much of the way you view
yourself, and the world around you, is a
result of all the messages and opinions
that have been ingrained into your
psyche. And you begin to sift through all
the crap you've been fed about how you
should behave, how you should look, how
much you should or shouldn't weigh, what
you should wear, where you should shop,
what you should drive, how and where you
should live, what you should do for a
living, who you should sleep with, who
you should marry, what you should expect
of a marriage, the importance of having
and raising children, or even what you
owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and
different points of view. In addition,
you begin reassessing and redefining who
you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting
and needing, and you begin to discard the
doctrines and values you have outgrown,
or should never have bought into to begin
with. In the process you learn to go with
your instincts. You learn to distinguish
between guilt and responsibility, and the
importance of setting boundaries and
learning to say No.
You learn that the only cross to bear is
the one you choose to carry, and that
martyrs are burned at the stake.
Then you really learn about love,
romantic love, and familial love. How to
love, how much to give in love, when to
stop giving, and when to walk away. You
learn not to reject your needs or your
feelings onto a relationship. You learn
that you will not be more beautiful, more
intelligent, more lovable, or important
because of the man or woman on your arm,
or the child that bears your name, as the
case may be.
You learn to look at relationships as
they really are and not as you would have
them be. You stop trying to control
people, situations, and outcomes. You
learn that just as people grow and
change, so it is with love and you learn
that you do not have the right to demand
love on your terms, just to make you
happy. In addition, you learn that alone
does not mean lonely.
And you look in the mirror and come to
terms with the fact that you may never
be a size 7 or a perfect 10 and you stop
trying to compete with the image inside
your head and agonizing over how you
" stack up. " You also stop working so hard
at putting feelings aside, smoothing
things over, and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement
are perfectly OK, that it is your right
to want things that you want and that
sometimes it is necessary to make
demands. You come to the realization that
you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and
you will not settle for less. In
addition, you allow only the hands of a
lover who cherishes you, to glorify you
with his or her touch and in the process,
you internalize the meaning of
self-respect.
In addition, you learn that your body
really is your temple. You begin eating a
balanced diet, drinking more water, and
taking more time to exercise. You learn
that fatigue diminishes the spirit and
can create doubt and fear, so you take
more time to rest... your body as well as
your mind, because just as food fuels the
body, laughter fuels our soul, so you
take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in
life, you get what you believe you
deserve, and much of life is a
self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that
anything worth achieving is worth working
for, and that wishing something to happen
is different from working toward making
it happen. More importantly, you learn
that in order to achieve success, you
need direction, discipline, and
perseverance.
You realize also that you and you alone
are responsible for your own life, and
that you must stand on your own two feet,
let go everybody else's hand, and do what
you need to do to take care of yourself.
You also learn that no one can do it all
alone and its OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must
truly fear is the great robber baron of
all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step
right into and through your fears,
because you know that whatever happens
you can handle it, and to give in to fear
is to give away the right to live life on
your terms.
You learn to balance those two facts...
standing on your own and asking for
help... so that you don't just use other
people to do what you yourself must do.
You learn to fight for your life, and not
to squander it living under a cloud of
impending doom. You learn that life is
not always fair, you do not always get
what you think you deserve, and that
sometimes, bad things happen to
unsuspecting, good people. On these
occasions, you learn not to personalize
things. You learn that God is not
punishing you or failing to answer your
prayers. It is just life happening. In
addition, you learn to deal with evil in
its most primal state: the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as
anger, envy, and resentment must be
understood and redirected, or they will
suffocate the life out of you and poison
the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong,
and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take
comfort in many of the simple things you
take for granted... things that millions
of people upon the earth can only dream
about: A full refrigerator, clean running
water, a soft warm bed, and long showers.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility
for yourself by yourself, and you try to
make yourself a promise to never betray
yourself and to never ever settle for
less than your heart's desire. In
addition, you hang a wind chime outside
your window so you can listen to the
wind. In addition, you make it a point to
keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay
open to the possibility of a very
wonderful future.
Finally, with courage in your heart and
with God by your side, you take a stand,
you take a deep breath, and you begin, as
best as you can, to design the life you
want to live.
And you finally learn to smile with new
contentment.
Author: Unknown
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